There’s something I’ve been noticing more and more in the world of work.
There are plenty of people with the title Manager, but increasingly, I’m seeing managers who don’t feel particularly confident when it comes to the people side of their role.
And I don’t think that’s because they don’t care. In fact, quite often it’s the opposite.
They’re busy. Really busy.
They’re dealing with rosters, customers, budgets, systems, compliance, reporting, staffing issues and the day-to-day problems that come with keeping a business running.
Then there’s the legislation.
Managers are often very conscious of getting things right. They worry about saying the wrong thing, handling an issue incorrectly or making a decision that could create a problem later.
As a result, the people-management part of the job can easily get pushed down the list or, even worse, avoided all together.
And that’s where I think we’re starting to see a real gap.
When managers become afraid to manage
One of the things I see quite regularly is managers who know there is an issue but aren’t quite sure what to do about it.
An employee isn’t performing as expected. Someone’s behaviour is causing problems within the team. There’s an ongoing conflict between two employees. Someone needs some fairly direct feedback.
The manager knows the issue needs to be addressed, but instead of having the conversation, they hesitate.
Sometimes they leave it for a bit longer.
Then a bit longer again.
Before long, what could have been a relatively straightforward conversation has become a much bigger issue.
I understand why this happens. There is a lot of information out there about employment law, workplace obligations and managing risk. Managers hear about unfair dismissal, bullying, discrimination, psychosocial hazards and complaints — and understandably, they can become nervous about getting something wrong.
Of course, businesses need to take these matters seriously. But there is a difference between managing risk and being afraid to manage people and we don’t want managers thinking that every conversation needs to become a formal HR process.
Sometimes an employee simply needs to be told that their behaviour isn’t meeting expectations.
Sometimes someone needs some constructive feedback.
Sometimes a manager needs to say, “This isn’t working. Let’s talk about why.”
Those conversations are part of managing people and managers need to feel comfortable having them.
Being good at your job doesn’t automatically make you a good manager
This is another issue I see, particularly in smaller businesses.
Someone is very good at what they do, so they get promoted into a management role. They know the business, the systems and the work. People respect them for what they can do.
But nobody has necessarily taught them how to manage people. And managing people is a completely different skill set.
How do you give feedback without making someone defensive? How do you deal with someone who isn’t meeting expectations? How do you manage conflict within a team? How do you have an uncomfortable conversation and still maintain a good working relationship? How do you get the best out of someone who has lost motivation?
These are skills that develop with experience, but managers shouldn’t have to learn everything the hard way.
And perhaps we need to acknowledge something else: a manager can be capable, committed and genuinely caring, while still lacking confidence in their management skills.
That doesn’t make them a bad manager. It means they need the opportunity to learn.
So what can businesses do about it?
I don’t think the answer is necessarily another big leadership program. For many small and medium-sized businesses, taking managers away from the business for days at a time, simply isn’t realistic.
What tends to work better is keeping it practical and focusing on the things managers actually need to deal with:
- Start with the basics
Provide managers with access to practical training and coaching in the areas where they are most likely to struggle:
- Giving feedback
- Managing performance
- Having difficult conversations
- Dealing with conflict
- Setting clear expectations
- Coaching and supporting employees
- Managing different personalities and working styles
And keep it relevant.
A short session on How to Have a Difficult Conversation can be much more useful to a manager than a day of generic leadership theory.
- Give them the opportunity to practise
One of the simplest things you can do is talk through real situations:
- “What would you do if an employee kept arriving late?”
- “How would you approach this conversation?”
- “What do you think you need to say?”
Sometimes just having the opportunity to talk through a situation with someone who has experience can make a manager feel much more comfortable about taking the next step.
It also helps them realise that managing people isn’t about having the perfect words every time. It’s about being clear, respectful and willing to address issues.
- Use HR as a support, not a substitute for management
HR has an important role to play, particularly when matters are complex or there are genuine legal or employment risks. But managers also need to develop the confidence to manage everyday people issues themselves.
If every difficult conversation is immediately handed over to HR, managers don’t get the opportunity to build those skills and can become dependent on someone else to manage their team for them. More importantly, they don’t get the opportunity to build the essential relationships with their team members that help them better navigate difficult situations moving forward.
A better approach, in my view, is to utilise HR to advise and coach the manager through the situation:
- What is the issue?
- What are the expectations?
- What does the employee need to understand?
- What does the manager need to say?
- What support do they need?
Then, wherever appropriate, let the manager have the conversation.
That’s how capability and confidence start to develop.
- Confidence matters just as much as knowledge
This is probably the part that gets overlooked.
I’ve worked with managers who actually know what they should do. They’ve read the policy. They understand the process. They know the employee needs some feedback.
But they’re still thinking, “What if I say the wrong thing?”
Sometimes they don’t need another policy. They need a bit of guidance, some practical advice and perhaps a conversation beforehand about how to approach it.
That support can make a big difference.
Once a manager has a few of these conversations under their belt, their confidence generally starts to build. And that matters because confident managers tend to deal with issues earlier.
They have the conversation rather than avoiding it.
They give feedback rather than letting frustration build.
They address behaviour rather than hoping it will fix itself.
And they are more comfortable having regular conversations with their team — not just talking to people when something has gone wrong.
Investing in our managers
I think there is a growing need to take a closer look at how we’re developing our people managers.
Particularly in smaller businesses, managers are often expected to wear multiple hats. They have operational, customer, compliance and financial responsibilities.
People management can become just another thing on the list.
But it shouldn’t be.
Managers have a huge influence on the experience people have at work. They shape the day-to-day culture of a team, how issues are dealt with, how feedback is given and whether people feel supported and valued.
So, if we want better managers, we have to give them the opportunity to become better managers.
That doesn’t have to mean expensive programs or taking people away from the business for days at a time. It can start quite simply:
- Identify where your managers lack confidence.
- Give them some practical skills.
- Talk through real situations.
- Coach them through the difficult conversations.
- Give them feedback on how they’re going.
And keep developing them.
Because promoting someone into a management role and giving them a job title isn’t the same thing as preparing them to lead people.
Good managers don’t just happen. We need to invest in them.
And perhaps the question isn’t really “Where have all the managers gone?”
Maybe we need to ask:
“Have we actually given our managers the skills and confidence they need to manage?”
