When we talk about “employers of choice,” we usually mean organisations that care about their people — the ones that offer flexible hours, let you swap days, and understand that life outside work matters just as much as what happens inside it.
Flexible working, supportive leadership, and understanding personal commitments or challenges are considered hallmarks of a healthy workplace.
But I’ve been reflecting on something we don’t often talk about:
Shouldn’t care and flexibility go both ways?
Do we extend the same understanding to managers and business owners that we expect from them?
Looking for Employers Who “Get It”
Throughout my career, I’ve been fortunate to work with leaders who trusted me to get the balance right. When I mentioned something special my kids were doing, the response wasn’t “that’s nice” — it was:
“Do you want to go? How can we make it possible? What works on the work side?”
That level of support builds loyalty and trust. It makes you feel valued as a person, not just an employee.
But here’s the flip side — and it’s worth saying out loud:
If a business supports me to swap days or adjust hours to meet my personal commitments, surely, I should be prepared to do the same when the business needs me. Flexibility can’t only flow one way.
With the Right to Disconnect now giving employees protection from being contacted or expected to work outside usual hours, this imbalance becomes even more visible. We have a legal framework to protect employees’ time — but it doesn’t automatically mean the culture is reciprocal. If the business needs flexibility, how do we respond?
The Double Standard in Empathy
Where else does this imbalance show up? Often, we are quick to show understanding to our peers — covering for one another, forgive delays, and empathising with personal challenges.
Yet when it comes to managers or business owners, that empathy often seems to disappear. We assume they can handle it. We expect them to absorb last-minute changes, pick up extra hours, or solve problems after hours — but rarely stop to consider their pressures or personal boundaries.
There’s a quiet double standard here. We celebrate employees’ right to flexibility and balance, yet often forget that leaders and business owners are human too.
True Flexibility Is Reciprocal
For me workplace culture thrives on mutual trust and respect
Just as employees deserve understanding, managers and business owners deserve the same consideration.
When flexibility and care flow both ways, teams operate with trust and shared accountability. Workplaces become not only supportive — but sustainable, human, and high-performing.
A Reflection for All of Us
If we can ask for flexibility, understanding and care from our leaders and business owners but they can’t ask us for the same in return does that scale actually balance?
Is it time to ask ourselves:
What impact am I having on the scale? Am I as willing to be flexible and empathetic for my employer as they are for me?
If the answer is no, maybe that’s where the next step in cultural maturity lies. Because real flexibility isn’t a benefit — it’s a relationship. And relationships only work when care and understanding flows both ways.
