For months now, I have been trying to put into words something that captures the divide between those who run a business and those who work for a business. The sentiments that I see and hear often from business owners.
It is a feeling that is difficult to explain. A weight. A responsibility. A sense of carrying something that very few people around you truly understand.
It is the sleepless nights, the rush of when things are working, and the relentless pressure of when they aren’t. It is the responsibility of payroll, cash flow, customers, compliance, people decisions, and the constant uncertainty of whether the numbers will stack up at the end of the month. It is the delicate balance of risk and reward, constantly weighing opportunities against consequences, knowing that every decision has the potential to move the business forward — or backwards.
The decisions do not stop when the office closes. The responsibility does not disappear before 8.30am or after 5 pm.
The thoughts follow you home.
You may be sitting at dinner with your nearest and dearest, with a task list a mile long, thinking about next week’s wages. You watch the news and political environment not for interest but out of necessity. Global markets impact you and everything you have built. You are on holidays still checking your phone, planning your next year. You lay awake replaying a conversation, questioning a decision, or wondering what you could have done differently.
You can’t call in sick because the public holiday falls on a Tuesday and you feel like a long weekend. Every task needs to be covered regardless of injury or a family member’s illness.
Owning a business is not just a job. It is something you have invested in — financially, emotionally, and personally. It is what defines who you are and becomes your identity. It creates connection, and it also creates division.
The truth is, this blog has gone through more drafts than I care to admit because I have been trying to capture the nuance.
Because there isn’t a simple answer.
There isn’t one truth.
Over the years, I have worn many different shoes — gumboots, steel caps, high heels, and the practical shoes you wear while chasing small children. I have been an employee, a leader, a family business partner and an employer.
And what I have learned is this:
The view from the owner’s chair is different from the view from an employee’s desk.
Not better. Not worse. Just different.
Employees often see the decisions that impact them. Business owners often carry the context behind those decisions — the financial pressures, the risks, the conversations they have had behind closed doors, and the choices they have had to make with imperfect information.
One of the hardest experiences for many small business owners is making decisions about people.
Sometimes they are decisions that felt right at the time but do not lead to the outcome hoped for. Some decisions feel wrong for the individual, but you know they are right for the whole and for the business. Sometimes you make the best decision you can with the information you have, only to find yourself later questioning whether you got it right.
That feeling can be incredibly heavy.
The reality is that there are far fewer people who have walked in an owner’s shoes, and very few people who truly understand what it feels like to carry that responsibility — to make decisions that affect livelihoods, families, and the future of the business, while also trying to keep moving forward without a clear roadmap.
There are far more people who navigate being an employee. On any weekend, you could probably enter a social conversation and say, “Gosh, my boss is hard work,” and be met with acceptance and understanding.
And this is where many business owners find themselves feeling alone.
The reality is, there are simply fewer owners than employees, and your employees may not always understand the weight you carry.
And maybe that is a divide that we need to accept.
Employees experience the workplace from their own perspective, just as you are experiencing it from yours.
Maybe the answer is not to expect employees to carry the same weight.
The answer is to find other people who can understand it.
Other business owners, CEOs, or senior leaders who have had to make the tough calls. Who understand that sometimes managing people can feel like wrangling a group of kinder kids on a field trip, with the occasional tantrum and broken bone on the playground.
People who know what it feels like to sit in the same chair and understand your view.
They may not be in the same industry. They may not run the same type of business. But they often understand the common experiences:
- The silence after asking for help.
- The frustration when feedback does not seem to land.
- The challenge of trying to create opportunities for people who may not recognise the effort behind them.
- The constant juggling of competing priorities.
- The gut ache of putting your trust in someone, investing in them, going above and beyond for them, only to have them let you down or try to take your business reputation with them on the way out.
- The pressure of knowing that, ultimately, the responsibility comes back to you.
Business owners need connection. They need a place where they can be honest about what they are experiencing without feeling judged or needing to explain every detail.
So this is the reminder for all business owners or senior leaders:
Find your people.
Sometimes our role isn’t to tell you what to do. It’s simply to listen. To hear your concerns, talk through the risks, challenge your thinking where needed, and act as a sounding board.
Often, you already know in your heart which way you’re going to go. Sometimes you just need the space to say it out loud. Having someone to talk it through with can make all the difference.
As HR advisers, we know that not every conversation needs a solution. Sometimes people simply need a safe place to think out loud, test their thinking, and know they are not carrying the weight alone.
Network with other business owners. Build relationships. Have conversations that go beyond surface-level business talk.
Be honest about the challenges.
Find someone you trust who can listen, understand, and remind you that you are not the only person carrying this weight and that, even when you feel like you are failing, you are still braver than most and achieving more than many.
Because being a business owner can be incredibly rewarding — but it can also be incredibly lonely.
And you shouldn’t expect to navigate it alone.
