What is self-awareness and why does it matter?
At its core, self-awareness is the ability to recognise and understand your own behaviours, preferences, and impact on others. It’s not just about knowing what you do, but noticing how and why you do it especially in real time. It also means understanding what motivates you, what gives you energy, what drains you, and what truly matters. This means you can be more intentional about where and how you show up. Understanding your natural strengths and areas for development to ensure you’re not stepping into the firing line armed with the wrong tools.
And in the workplace, self -awareness matters more than we often realise.
Because when self-awareness is low, the impact shows up quickly.
We see it in mismatched pace, when one person moves quickly and another needs time to process. In communication breakdowns where intent and impact don’t align. In ways of working that clash rather than complement. And perhaps most noticeably, in conflict.
Without self-awareness, we tend to focus outward. We explain what others did, how they contributed, where they went wrong. What’s often missing is the ability—or willingness—to step back and ask:
– What am I bringing into this situation?
– How might my approach be escalating rather than de-escalating?
– Where is my behaviour helping—and where might it be getting in the way?
So, how self-aware are you, really?
It’s an easy question to answer quickly. Most of us would rate ourselves somewhere in the middle, if not higher. But self-awareness isn’t tested when things are going well. It’s tested under pressure when time is tight, stakes are high, and our default behaviours take over.
That’s where tools like DiSC can play a valuable role.
Not because they give us a label, but because they give us a language. A framework to better understand ourselves first, and then the people around us. They help us make sense of differences in pace, communication, priorities and reduce the likelihood of misinterpretation. They are the safety net beneath the trapeze: when we stretch beyond our usual patterns or are pushed past our limits, these tools help us catch ourselves before the fall leaves us (and potentially others) bruised and battered.
And perhaps just as importantly, they offer reassurance: you’re not the only one who thinks, reacts, or processes the way you do.
That said, self-awareness isn’t something you “achieve” once and move on from. It’s ongoing. It evolves and at times, it challenges you.
Speaking personally, as someone with an i profile, I’ve come to understand just how defining connection is for me. It shapes how I communicate, how I build relationships, and how I show up. Through this lens, I’ve developed a clearer understanding of both my strengths and my blind spots.
And that’s where the real work begins.
Self-awareness isn’t just about recognising your preferences; it’s about questioning them:
- What might the other side look like?
- What am I missing in this interaction?
- How is my natural style helping – or hindering – this situation?
In workshops, I often find myself navigating a tension:
Does this session suit me, you or both of us?
To create genuine engagement, I share my own reflections openly where I’ve grown, and where I still get it wrong (which happens plenty). I hope this invites others to do the same.
Sometimes, really important and considered questions come from workshop attendees.
Recently I was asked…
Does adapting our behaviour mean becoming someone we’re not?
It’s a fair question.
My view is this: we are who we are. We walk into every room carrying our experiences, our habits, and, if we’re honest, our baggage. Self-awareness doesn’t ask us to erase that. It asks us to understand it and choose how we respond to it.
There’s a difference between considering others and compromising yourself.
Adapting isn’t about losing authenticity; it’s about increasing effectiveness. It’s about recognising that how we show up impacts’ others and being intentional about that impact.
Because the reality is, as much as others shape us, we shape them too.
Some of the most powerful moments in any DiSC session don’t come from the report itself, but from reflection:
“That used to be me.”
“I’ve worked on that.”
“I didn’t realise I was still doing that.”
Those are the moments where theory becomes practice. Where awareness turns into choice. And where real change begins.
And this becomes even more critical under pressure.
When stress rises, our default behaviours surface faster. Our triggers sharpen. Without self-awareness, we react. With it, we create a pause—a moment to choose a more effective response.
That’s the shift, from insight to action.
So, what can you take away from this?
Start here:
- Be honest with yourself – understand who you are in the room.
- Notice your pace – are you rushing others, or feeling rushed yourself?
- Pay attention to your communication – are you being clear, or assuming understanding?
- Reflect on conflict – what are you contributing, not just what you’re experiencing?
- Be clear on what energises you – and protect time and space for it
- Consider adjusting one behaviour, not everything at once
Because self-awareness isn’t about getting it right all the time.
It’s about catching yourself when you don’t and choosing what you do next.
The broader challenge might be being honest enough to recognise when self-awareness, ours or our team’s, is low and then taking meaningful steps to address it.
Asking people to improve self-awareness without a shared language or framework risks setting us and others up to fail, particularly when self-perception may already be distorted or out of alignment.
