With International Women’s Day approaching on the 8th March, I find myself feeling a little conflicted.
The sentiment behind the day is absolutely valid. It exists because of years of historical oppression, inequality, and systemic barriers. It is a day intended to recognise progress, acknowledge injustice, and celebrate the achievements of women across the globe.
And I genuinely do relish the opportunity to celebrate amazing women – colleagues, acquaintances, and close friends. I have watched in awe women navigate motherhood, serious health challenges, and demanding careers with grace and tenacity. I have seen women achieve in historically male-dominated fields, women who overcome and refuse to shrink themselves to fit the room. Right now I work in a female-dominated workplace, and I am proud of the capability, resilience, and intelligence I see around me every day.
But I also hear something else.
I hear capable, driven women quietly admit, “I don’t actually feel like I can do and have it all.” I see women exhausted by the pressure to be exceptional at everything. And I notice that not every female is inspiring or worthy of admiration, just as not every male is.
As a mother of three boys, I am conscious of the narrative that can sometimes sit alongside the celebration – one that unintentionally divides rather than unites. I am mindful of my lone male colleague, and indeed anyone who isn’t directly recognised on these days, quietly sitting amidst the flurry of recognition and celebration driven more by sentiment or ideology than by merit. Equality should not feel like a competition, and recognition should not be conditional on gender or any other trait – it should be grounded in who you are as a human and the impact your actions have on those around you.
In my professional life, I have worked with businesses that actively redesign roles to attract more women. We invest significant time and money trying to balance gender representation. And I support that work – because opportunity matters. Access matters. But representation alone is not the same as merit. Celebration without discernment is not the same as respect.
What I would advocate for this International Women’s Day is something slightly different: celebrate the women and the people who have truly earned it in your life.
The ones who have shown character when it was hard.
The ones who have built trust over time.
The ones who have done the work.
The ones who quietly show up and make things better.
Give them their flowers. Give them a seat at your table not because of a headline or a hashtag, but because they have earned your respect.
And don’t just do it on one day. Tell your mentor she changed the trajectory of your career. Tell your colleague her leadership matters. Tell your friend her resilience is seen. Tell your partner you notice what they carry. In fact, make the conscious choice to celebrate anyone worth celebrating not because the calendar or their gender prompts you, but because the person genuinely does.
Real equality isn’t created by slogans or symbolic gestures. It’s created in rooms where merit, integrity, and contribution are recognised consistently regardless of gender.
International Women’s Day has its place. Its history matters. Its intention matters.
But perhaps the most powerful thing we can do is move beyond performative celebration and toward genuine, ongoing recognition of the people, women included, who truly shape our lives for the better.
That, to me, feels worth celebrating.
